Family and Child Online Safety Blog - SafetyClicks

Here are 10 tips to help you surf the Web safely. Share any other tips you have in the comments.

10 - Who Wants To Know? When you are registering with web sites that ask for information that you don't think it makes sense for them to have, double check it how that informaiton could be used. For example, most of the time when you are commenting, or interacting in some way, it is normal for a site to ask for your email address. But if you are not buying anything, it is not normal to ask for payment information.

9 - Who Are You? It is important to not lie about your identity, but also not reveal too much. It is OK to tell your real first name and age. It is normally OK to share your home state. It is a bad idea to give your address, phone number, or any personally identifiable information to people you don't know in real life.

8 - Sticks and Stones: I have been called many names, by many people - some not so flattering. Many times the best way to stop a bully is to ignore them. Reputable communication tools have the ability to block or ignore users including AOL's Instant Messenger (AIM) and e-mail systems, Facebook, Bebo, MySpace and Twitter. Use them. Love them. It can help save your sanity.

7 - Just Say No: Kids should be taught to get an adult whenever they see something online that makes them uncomfortable. Whatever makes you uncomfortable should be reported, then you blocked so that person cannot contact you again.

I have a cousin who lives in Alaska. I have known her mother, but various circumstances have prevented my cousin and I from meeting in person. Especially in the last couple of years, I have talked to my cousin over the phone and through letters several times. When she found out I was on Facebook, she immediately sent me a friend request. Since then, we share pictures of our expanding families and keep in touch pretty regularly.

Apparently this is not uncommon. According to this article from the U.K., one in five families keep in touch via social networking sites.

Many decades ago, families didn't stray go far from home as they grew. Now, a very large percentage of people I know have moved far from their hometown. As people are more and more mobile, the Internet is being used to keep families together. It may not be as good as the family dinners, but it is better than nothing.

Do you keep in touch with family online more than you do in real life?

Among the many goals put forward by President Obama, one goal is to have affordable broadband available to at least 100 million U.S. homes. According to the previous census, there were 110 million houses in 2007, so this is a bold goal.

The specific action items are: (From broadband.gov)
Goals & Action Items Highlights
Goal No. 1: At least 100 million U.S. homes should have affordable access to actual download speeds of at least 100 megabits per second and actual upload speeds of at least 50 megabits per second.

In order to be a world leader in access to broadband by 2020, the plan has recommendations to foster competition, drive demand for increased network performance and lower the cost of deploying infrastructure. These will help inform consumers about broadband performance, expand services and infrastructure, and reform access to rights-of-way to lower barriers to entry for firms.

Goal No. 2: The United States should lead the world in mobile innovation, with the fastest and most extensive wireless networks of any nation.

Without enough spectrum, the wonderful potential that wireless and mobile broadband promise will remain unrealized. The Plan recommends making 500 megahertz of spectrum available by 2020, including 300 megahertz within the next five years, for both licensed and unlicensed use. In addition, the Commission recommends initiatives to ensure greater transparency and access in allocating spectrum for various uses.

Goal No. 3: Every American should have affordable access to robust broadband service, and the means and skills to subscribe if they so choose.

Not only is our world increasingly accessible online, but Americans have more opportunity for civic engagement than ever. But for these exciting online tools to be useful, every American must: have access to a network; be able to afford that access; and have the opportunity to develop digital skills. The Plan proposes reprioritization of resources and strategic targeting of efforts in order to achieve the goal of a 90% broadband adoption rate by 2020.

Goal No. 4: Every community should have affordable access to at least 1 gigabit per second broadband service to anchor institutions such as schools, hospitals, and government buildings.

The plan makes recommendations to upgrade the E-rate and improve the Rural Health Care support programs. Reforming incentive structures, licensing, and data interoperability, ensure that public priorities take advantage of the benefits broadband networks offer. And once community anchors are connected to gigabit speeds, it will become less expensive and more practical to get the same speeds to homes.

Goal No. 5: To ensure the safety of American communities, every first responder should have access to a nationwide, wireless, interoperable broadband public safety network.

Often, first responders from different jurisdictions cannot communicate effectively with each other at the scene of an emergency. A nationwide broadband safety network should be robust enough to maintain performance in the aftermath of a disaster, and should allow every first responder to communicate with each other and share real-time data over high-speed connections.

Goal No. 6: To ensure that America leads in the clean energy economy, every American should be able to use broadband to track and manage their real-time energy consumption.

The United States must lead by encouraging renewable power, grid storage, and vehicle electrification. Real-time data can also inform automated thermostats and appliances, allowing consumers to save energy and money while reducing the need for expensive new power plants. Consumers should be able to access real-time usage information from smart meters and historical billing information over the Internet.

What do you think about these goals? Do you think it is about time? Or would you change it?

In honor of the season, and to procrastinate the Spring cleaning I need to do on the house, I did some research to find out what I should do to keep my computer clean. Here is what I found (and links to the sources). Disclaimer: I am far from a technical expert. These are general tips, but if you have specific questions, it is best to ask a computer technician.

- Rearrange Files: PC Magazine describes how to defrag your hard drive (PC users). This process will take apart files and put them back in order to maximize space on the hard drive (kind of like what I should be doing in my hall closet).

- Back Up, Back Up, Back Up: Thriftyfun.com reminds us to back up important files regularly (before losing that irreplaceable picture of your kids). You don't need to back up programs if you have the original disks, but do back up the files you created. This would include pictures, documents, etc. and put them all on an external hard drive, CD or some other system. This is also a good chance to delete the duplicate files you have and getting rid of the pictures you don't want to keep.

- Dust Off the Computer: This one is also from Thriftyfun.com. I won't tell you how much dust and who knows what I had on my top of the computer tower in my office. I'll just remind you that this is also good to do a couple of times a year. Maybe more.

- Out With the Old: Microsoft lets us know that it is OK to delete that program that you got a few years ago, tried once and never used again. Really - it is OK. Even if you did need it in the future, it has probably been updated so many times it is worth starting from scratch anyway.

- Don't Forget the Kids: SafetyClicks reminds you to review the parental controls you have for your kids. Look through sites the kids request access to, see what they have been doing. Is it time to adjust the limitations now that the kids are getting more mature and their needs are expanding?

- Nothing Replaces You: Again from SafetyClicks. Talk to your kids about how to be a responsible digital citizen and what you expect of them while they are online. Even if they roll their eyes, you can make sure your kids get the message about online safety if you tell them.

Do you have any other Spring cleaning tips for the computer or online safety?

Hateful words, mean actions and ongoing tormenting of anyone can only go so far before there are severe consequences. This is proven, sadly, with a suicide case in Massachusetts. A teen, Phoebe Prince age 15, took her own life after months of what is described by the prosecutor as "tortuous harassment". There are currently nine teens charged (some being charged as adults). The teens being charged probably never thought it would go that far.

I don't know what makes people be so cruel to each other. I wish I knew how to stop it. What has been shown to us stories such as this, by the time teens are telling adults about the torment they are feeling, it has gone too far. We, as the parents, the educators and the "trusted adults" need to listen to them when they tell us that they are being picked on. 34% of teens say that it helps to just tell an adult who will listen.

The Prince family is in my thoughts.

If you could go back in time and Phoebe came to you, what would you do to try and help?

An increasingly common marketing strategy for anyone looking to get the word out about something is to use social networking sites. At the moment, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are the most common vehicles for spreading messages about everything from what your favorite celebrity is eating for lunch to getting a discount on something at a retail store. Even small businesses are using this free form of marketing.

This year, a Girl Scout used You Tube to promote her cookie sale. The video started with her stating her full name, then saying that she wanted to sell 12,000 cookies and why she wanted to sell that many. On one hand, it is an innovative way to sell more cookies. On the other hand, a young girl is saying her full name in a video, doing what some could argue as potentially risky online behavior.

The Girl Scout and her father went on the Today Show with a representative of the Girl Scout organization. Watch this segment of the Today Show and let us know where you stand. Do you think Girl Scouts should be able to market themselves online in any (tasteful) way to sell the cookies? Or should they be barred from online promotion or sales for the sake of safety?

Net Family News is among the great online resources for parents. A recent topic caught my eye, The Youth Voice Project. This project took a close look at bullying and our youth.

Anne Collier, the editor of Net Family News, gave a great breakdown of the study. The thing that struck me the most about this is not only identifying what the challenges were, but what we (as parents and advocates) can do. In reading through the report, it seemed very empowering and I took a few tips that I hope I can share with my daughter and the youth in my life.

I am not sure there is anyone who has never been picked on, but sometimes those who are picked on lose their sense of self and come to parents for advice. It is critical that we take that moment to let our kids know that they are special. They are loved. They are good.

To me, the most encouraging things were:
- 34% of the youth said it helped most to tell an adult at home. If your child comes to you, just being there helps. (from page 8 of the report)
- 47% said that making plans to get back at them made things worse (also on page 8.) Finding ways to make your child feel better without vengeance is something you would do anyway, but actually helps them more anyway.
- Although the question is about educators, 43% of youth said that what helped most is they felt like the educator listened to them. (page 13 of the report)

Do you see anything that inspires you?

The FTC has a vested interest in making sure that we are all safe online. They would like for us to be savvy consumers. Savvy consumers don't always know every answer, but they at least know the questions to ask. What better way for the FTC to make you a savvy consumer than to provide the education themselves. And they did: FTC.gov/YouAreHere.

You Are Here is a campaign showing kids and teens how to be smarter consumers. Questions such as how to comparison shop, how to tell if a deal is too good to be true, and even how to protect your identity.

I love that the information is clear and age appropriate, but still covers everything you'd need to know. Although the site isn't 100% specific to online safety, it does cover identity protection, how to identify a scam and how to protect your privacy. Take a look at the site and share it with kids. Come back here and tell us what you think about it.

There is a debate about how or if parents should use spyware on their kids' computer to find out what their kids are doing online. This is a debate between parents, but is not a legal debate. Apparently a high school in Philadelphia took this idea to another level.

A Pennsylvania school district is being investigated by the FBI for remotely activating the web cams on the laptops they issued to students. The school district says that they were wanting to track online behavior when the students were supposed to be doing homework. The parents of these students disagree, saying it was a clear privacy violation. It is still unknown how the FBI will find, but I would not at all be surprised to find this a question posed to either the state's or the U.S. Supreme Court.

What do you think? Privacy violation or good intentions communicated poorly?

After watching MTV's "When Privates Go Public", I was reminded of my own high school career. I didn't have the technology that is currently available, but I saw myself in the students that were featured. The girl was naive and thought her boyfriend would never betray her trust. I was reminded how my trust was betrayed by my first love. The second student was frustrated and did something without thinking. I was reminded that I am really glad that there isn't documentation of things I did without thinking when I was a teen. As I listened to their stories, I was touched not by their story as much as how easy it is happening to youth who you would never expect.

The two stories featured were a young girl who sent a topless picture of herself and a boy who forwarded a picture of his girlfriend from his cell phone. She ended up having her picture sent to everyone in not only her school, but other schools as well. He was convicted as a sex offender and is facing those consequences (including not being able to get a job or even live with his father because of the proximity to a school). Neither person was anyone I would think would even think of doing anything like this. Both described that 'they didn't think' anything bad would happen and certainly would never have done it had they thought about consequences. I could see myself in both of these young people.

The entire episode is available online. I re-encourage you to watch it with young people in your life. It is an important topic that might lead to helping them think about consequences.

Once you watch it, post your thoughts about the documentary in the comments. Do you see yourself, or your kids, in those featured?

We've been told that 3 in 10 teens have been involved in some type of naked texting. Of those, one in five report that they have passed the images along to someone else. Since these young people are primarily defined as minors, this makes a hot story for all kinds of venues.

In the last few months the topic of sexting seems like it is everywhere. We talk about it here on SafetyClicks a lot, but the same concerns we discuss are in the main stream as well. A recent episode of The Deep End, a new ABC show about a law firm, one of the clients was a teen facing charges distribution of child pornography for a picture taken of his girlfriend. The teen being charged with child pornography for sending a nude picture of their girl/boyfriend is not all that uncommon since the laws are not prepared for this kind of behavior.

If you want to watch the episode of 'The Deep End', you can watch the full episode online. On the show everything works out thanks to the savvy lawyers - do you think you would have the same luck?

What do you think about the topic of sexting showing up so much in pop culture?

You may know YouTube as the place you saw that funny video. Maybe you watch and share family movies uploaded to the site. But maybe you are like Cecilia King of the Washington Post who was watching "Dora the Explorer" videos with her daughter when she came across "Dora on Crack".

YouTube is a great tool to share videos of your own and to watch the latest viral videos making their way through office buildings across the country. The challenge is that sometimes there are videos that are NSFW (not safe for work).

Thankfully, YouTube recognizes that not all videos are appropriate for all ages and came up with a Safety Mode. Similar to AOL Safe Search (YouTube filtering videos, while AOL Search filters search results), when it is in use it will not surface videos that are not appropriate for either viewing at work or viewing by younger users. Safety Mode can be set each time you go to the site, or can be permanently set if you login to your account. Kudos to YouTube for making our family viewing (and office viewing) that much safer.

What other safety tools do you know of?

CommonSenseMedia.org put together a great list of parenting tips for cyberbullying that I want to share.

• -- Give them a code of conduct. Tell them that if they wouldn't say something to someone's face, they shouldn't text it, IM it, or post it.
• -- Ask your kids if they know someone who has been cyberbullied. Sometimes they will open up about others' pain before admitting their own.

Parent tips for elementary school kids

• -- Keep online socializing to a minimum. Let them use sites like Webkinz or Club Penguin where chat is pre-scripted or pre-screened.
• -- Explain the basics of correct cyber behavior. Tell your kids that things like lying, telling secrets, and being mean still hurt in cyberspace.
• -- Tell kids not to share passwords with their friends.

Parent tips for middle school kids

• -- Monitor their use. See what they're posting, check their mobile messages.
• -- Tell your kids what to do if they're harassed. They shouldn't respond or retaliate, they should block bullies immediately, and they should tell you or an adult they trust. They shouldn't delete the messages because in persistent cases, the content should be reported to a cell or Internet Service Provider.
• -- If your kid is doing the bullying, establish strict consequences and stick to them. That goes for mean or sexual comments about teachers, friends, and relatives.
• -- Remind them that all private information can be made public. Posts on friends' walls, private IMs, intimate photos, little in-jokes can all be cut, pasted, and sent around. If they don't want the world to see it, they better not post or send it.
• -- Don't start what you don't want to finish. Game chat can get ugly fast. Make sure your kids are respectful because hurtful retaliation happens all the time.

Parent tips for high school kids

• -- Tell kids to think before they reveal. At this age, kids experiment with all sorts of activities, many of which should not be made public. Remind your teens that anything they post can be misused by someone else.
• -- Remind them they aren't too old to ask for your help. There are things some kids can handle on their own, but sometimes, they just need help. Coming to their parents isn't baby-ish, it's safe.

All the advice I think is great, but I especially like the tips for older teens. When I was in high school (aka, the age that I "knew everything"), I may have hesitant to ask my parents advice. Being reminded by my parents that it was still OK to ask advice helped me.

What other advice would you give to parents regarding cyberbullying?

The PBS's series "Frontline" recently aired an episode called "Digital Nation". It talked about how much the current generation has transformed the world through technology. It was done by the same people who did Growing Up Online, so I was intrigued.

The program started by talking about how effective (or not) people are at multi-tasking. I was in full agreement. I kept thinking how crazy the people were who said "they can read email, pay attention to a lecture, and search the web at the same time." Then I had to laugh at myself. I was watching this documentary with my laptop open checking mail and starting to write this post.

After I put my laptop away and started paying closer attention to the message, I was really impressed with the information.

They said that there are two categories of people in the digital arena, digital natives and digital immigrants. Among the natives, there was a deep look at the possibility of Internet addiction and the observation that multi-tasking is rampant and unproductive, the social aspect (looking mainly into massively multi-player online role playing games such as World of Warcraft), and how this technology has transformed warfare.

Regarding which camp I fall into - I think I fall squarely into the immigrant category. I have worked very hard to learn about different kids of technology, but it is not easy for me. I often end up asking people (generally young people) who are natives for help. Do you think you fit into the digital native category, or the immigrant? If you are a native, do you share your knowledge? If you are an immigrant, do you seek to learn more? How?

It is playing on PBS periodically, so I'd recommend watching it. Check your local listings for when it will be on in your area.