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Social Networking On the Move

The internet has been at your fingertips everywhere you go with your cell phone for a while. However, it is no longer just the techno-guy in your life, it is seemingly everyone. For example, the iPhone came out with the next version in early July, people stood in line for hours to make sure they got the latest and greatest. Not that the old iPhone was going to stop working, but people wanted the newest version. People I know, who have never been particularly techno-savvy were talking about how excited they were to get the new gadget. Anne Collier at NetFamilyNews.org hit the nail on the head - people are not carrying cell phones anymore, they are carrying full blown computers that are connected to the internet. She highlights a few statistics from Pew research:

Adult Industry Booming on Cell Phones

According to Enough.org, the mobile phone is not only a communication device; it is a $1 billion adult industry fueled by users accessing adult content via the cell phone. This is not counting the user-generated adult images that are being sent over and over and over again using cameras that are built into most cell phones. Yes, I am talking about sexting.

Sexting isn't making anyone any money (that I know of), but 3 in 10 young people report being a part of some kind of naked sexting (either sending or receiving). One in 10 report sending a naked picture of him or herself. This translates into more people sexting than using their cell phone to access pornographic web sites.

Parents are shocked by this, but some teens just see it as a part of life or no big deal.

So what now? We educate the youth. We (as parents) spend time talking with our kids about the realities in the world. We incorporate the new technology into the teachings at school, and we hope for the best. All we can do is teach them about using technology responsibly and the risks that they face. It is up to the youth to decide what to do with the information.

What are your thoughts on how to best educate the youth about the dangers of sexting?

Textual Harassment

The school-yard bullies that I knew stayed in the school yard. Now the territory reaches much further. The bully is likely to attack via a social networking site, possibly via instant message or email, and sometimes through the cell phone. Some experts are calling the bullying via cell phone 'textual harassment'.

The questions stand – What do we do about it? Who is accountable?

Dr. Elizabeth Englander suggests the answer to both questions. I particularly like her suggestions of how to work with school administrators. Too often, I read about parents who are blaming the schools, the schools saying they can't be responsible for things that happen outside school grounds and the child in the middle wondering how to get back to a sense of sanity in his/her world.

The fact is the responsibility is on the bully. Learning how to deal with the school-yard bully is hard, both on the victim and on the parents who want to help. It is also hard on the school who wants to help. There is no easy answer that fits every situation and we can't expect one. As a parent, you are in the best position to help your child because you know them best. You can help your child with the tips given by Dr. Englander and tips previously posted here.

Have you had to deal with a bully who has used technology to further harass your child? How have you coped?

Supreme Court Decision on Sexting Case

About a month ago, I posted an article about the U.S. Supreme Court hearing a case about texting and if a California police officer should have privacy relating to his texts sent on a department issued pager. As expected, the case was decided in June before the break. The court found that the police department did have the right to review the texts of the officer who was using a department pager to send sexually explicit texts to another person.

Just like the fact that schools have the right to search lockers and companies have the right to read employee email, the decision is not limited to communications via company email.

The next time I use company email to confirm dinner plans with my husband, I will keep this decision in mind. Even though it isn't too personal, I know that my boss could read the mail if she had cause to check my mail. Will this decision make you change your behavior with company cell phones, pagers or email?

Summer Games - Turning Advice Into Practice

Games, both online and through consoles like the PS3 or Wii, have never held much interest for me. Because I never paid much attention, I don't know much more than what I see in the news about what they are capable of. When I go to conferences about online safety, there are always people talking about how to keep kids safe on the gaming systems. This summer, I have some young family members (8 and 10) coming to visit and they are bringing their Wii. I am looking forward to trying it out (I've heard that Rock Band is a lot of fun!), but I am also now faced with a reality of having to make sure that they are safe while using the gaming system while they visit. In addition to talking to their parents about the do's and don'ts, I want to know what to be aware of.

I first checked this blog. I found that Holly posted some good tips for gaming safety of the Wii. I also found some helpful things at the manufacturer's web site (in my case, Wii). I searched the web site for "parental controls" and familiarized myself with how to use them and know to ask Mom and Dad what their password is so I can use it if needed.

Since they are likely going to also want to use my computer, I am also checking my settings on my own computer and installing parental controls. Enough.org, whom I've mentioned before, has some good resources from which parents can learn for all topics technology and safety related. I am more familiar with these topics, but since I haven't had children in the house for any length of time before, I am brushing up.

A few other resources that can help:
ESRB: This is the group who rates all video games by age group and tell why the ratings were chosen (violence, language, etc.) They can tell you

Internet Safety 101 is a resource for all things internet safety related. Since most gaming systems use the internet as part of the play, I am refreshing my knowledge here as well. You can order the entire program for yourself.

Do you have any more tips for my upcoming visit with kids that I may not have thought of?

Where Are You?

One of the popular tools hitting social networks lately are location applications such as FourSquare. When you register with one of these applications, it will update the social networks of your choosing with locations as you arrive at them.

I don't want to get into all the details about how to sign up and how it works. You can go to the site for those details. Instead, I wanted to share this with you in the interest of sharing knowledge of new uses for existing technology. I don't know how many teens are using this kind of technology, I only learned about it through a few of my friends (all adults).

The basics premise is that you use your cell phone to announce where you are at any given time to your friends on social networks. Here is an example of FourSquare in action when one of my friends went to a local restaurant. (His name and pictures covered for privacy).

Since my friend registered with FourSquare, he has "checked in" 103 times. This means that he posted that he was at a specific location on Facebook and Twitter 103 times.

The badges represent various things including how frequently you go to a specific location and if you have any friends that recently checked in at the same location.



Once you "check in", it shows up on the social networks that you specify. Here is what the check in looks like on Facebook.



And here is what it looks like on Twitter



While there are some benefits to using applications like FourSquare, you want to be careful how you use it. I think it is obvious that you wouldn't want to post your home address. What may not be obvious is that there is some level of risk that if you post your location and often visit the same locations at the same times.

The purpose of this article is to simply show you how existing technology is being used in new ways. It is up to you to decide if and how to use it for yourself and your family. What are some of the benefits you see in using FourSquare? What are some of the risks you see?

Simple Is Better

Recently Facebook has been under fire for a variety of reasons relating to privacy. For the record, I still have my Facebook profile. I do, however, treat Facebook like I do my personal blog, like I do any other place online where I can share a piece of myself. Anything I want to be kept private, I simply don't put online. I have posted tips on keeping yourself and your family safe while online, but I think CommonSenseMedia summed it up quite nicely:

3 Simple Rules to Keep in Mind
  1. Stick with your friends. Have your teens limit their privacy settings to Only Friends. That'll restrict who sees your kids' information, including pictures, videos, and applications they use.
  2. Keep private information private. When filling out their bios, teens can leave fields blank. There is no need for your teens to post their phone numbers or addresses. These features are optional and aren't required to create a Facebook account.
  3. Don't let your information get away from you. If your teens haven't restricted who can share their information, their personal data can end up in the hands of marketers. Also, advise your teens to be on the lookout for personal information requests -- like their birthday or music playlist -- from third parties. And make sure your teens uncheck the public search results box so people can't find their Facebook page through a Google search.

What are some simple tips you have to keep yourself and family safe while online?

Parental Dilemma, Technology Answer?

A recent question to a parents group I am a part of asked how to control time spent on both the TV and the video game system. While many suggested various parenting techniques, there were some technology answers posted as well.

- The Time Machine Children's Time Management System
- Time's Up! TV and Gaming Time Limiting Device

I have not used, nor can I endorse these items, but I am intrigued by them. Have you ever seen something like this in use? What do you think of them?

Shock and Awe Isn't Shocking Enough

Most parents are still shocked by the sexting reports involving teens, but this Australian report says that they may not be registering with teens in the same way.

This leads to another question of mine. Are teens, and eventually society, going to be so desensitized to what is now considered to be shocking behavior online? 150 years ago it would have been shocking to see women wearing pants in public. 100 years ago it was shocking that women were fighting to vote. Couples being divorced was shocking in the 1950s.

What do you think? Will hot news stories about teens sharing inappropriate pictures online even be newsworthy in the future? Or is this something that will still be shamed in years ahead?

Sexting Case Heard by the Supreme Court

My name is Francis Duncan. I have been guilty of using company time, the company computer and even company e-mail to send personal e-mail. That last one to my father about his up-coming trip could have waited until after hours, but I sent it during office hours.

According to this MSNBC article, I am not the only person to use company resources for personal reasons. This one more personal than my example: "Jeff Quon, a California SWAT sergeant, was given a pager from his employer, the Ontario Police Department. He was later found to have used the device not only for work but also for pleasure, often sending sexually explicit text messages to his wife and his mistress."

Quon's employer found out by reading the texts, siting that the pager was "owned by the department". Quon felt that it was a violation of his privacy. The courts were brought into the mix and it is now going to be escalated to the Supreme Court to determine if the department had the right to read the texts.

The Supreme Court heard the case
last Monday and a decision is expected by the end of June.

Regardless of how it turns out, this will effect most workplaces. What do you think the outcome should be? Should the messages be kept private? Or did the department have the right to read them?

Surf Safely Out There

Here are 10 tips to help you surf the Web safely. Share any other tips you have in the comments.

10 - Who Wants To Know?
When you are registering with web sites that ask for information that you don't think it makes sense for them to have, double check it how that informaiton could be used. For example, most of the time when you are commenting, or interacting in some way, it is normal for a site to ask for your email address. But if you are not buying anything, it is not normal to ask for payment information.

9 - Who Are You?
It is important to not lie about your identity, but also not reveal too much. It is OK to tell your real first name and age. It is normally OK to share your home state. It is a bad idea to give your address, phone number, or any personally identifiable information to people you don't know in real life.

8 - Sticks and Stones:
I have been called many names, by many people - some not so flattering. Many times the best way to stop a bully is to ignore them. Reputable communication tools have the ability to block or ignore users including AOL's Instant Messenger (AIM) and e-mail systems, Facebook, Bebo, MySpace and Twitter. Use them. Love them. It can help save your sanity.

7 - Just Say No:
Kids should be taught to get an adult whenever they see something online that makes them uncomfortable. Whatever makes you uncomfortable should be reported, then you blocked so that person cannot contact you again.

Family Social Networks

I have a cousin who lives in Alaska. I have known her mother, but various circumstances have prevented my cousin and I from meeting in person. Especially in the last couple of years, I have talked to my cousin over the phone and through letters several times. When she found out I was on Facebook, she immediately sent me a friend request. Since then, we share pictures of our expanding families and keep in touch pretty regularly.

Apparently this is not uncommon. According to this article from the U.K., one in five families keep in touch via social networking sites.

Many decades ago, families didn't stray go far from home as they grew. Now, a very large percentage of people I know have moved far from their hometown. As people are more and more mobile, the Internet is being used to keep families together. It may not be as good as the family dinners, but it is better than nothing.

Do you keep in touch with family online more than you do in real life?

Nine Teens Charged In Bullying Case

Hateful words, mean actions and ongoing tormenting of anyone can only go so far before there are severe consequences. This is proven, sadly, with a suicide case in Massachusetts. A teen, Phoebe Prince age 15, took her own life after months of what is described by the prosecutor as "tortuous harassment". There are currently nine teens charged (some being charged as adults). The teens being charged probably never thought it would go that far.

I don't know what makes people be so cruel to each other. I wish I knew how to stop it. What has been shown to us stories such as this, by the time teens are telling adults about the torment they are feeling, it has gone too far. We, as the parents, the educators and the "trusted adults" need to listen to them when they tell us that they are being picked on. 34% of teens say that it helps to just tell an adult who will listen.

The Prince family is in my thoughts.

If you could go back in time and Phoebe came to you, what would you do to try and help?

Girl Scout Cookie Debate

An increasingly common marketing strategy for anyone looking to get the word out about something is to use social networking sites. At the moment, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are the most common vehicles for spreading messages about everything from what your favorite celebrity is eating for lunch to getting a discount on something at a retail store. Even small businesses are using this free form of marketing.

This year, a Girl Scout used You Tube to promote her cookie sale. The video started with her stating her full name, then saying that she wanted to sell 12,000 cookies and why she wanted to sell that many. On one hand, it is an innovative way to sell more cookies. On the other hand, a young girl is saying her full name in a video, doing what some could argue as potentially risky online behavior.

The Girl Scout and her father went on the Today Show with a representative of the Girl Scout organization. Watch this segment of the Today Show and let us know where you stand. Do you think Girl Scouts should be able to market themselves online in any (tasteful) way to sell the cookies? Or should they be barred from online promotion or sales for the sake of safety?

Spring Break Mistakes

The college Spring Break spent on a beach in an exotic location has become almost a right of passage. Not everyone participates in the same way, but there is a stereotype of the college girls wearing their bikinis and the college boys strutting, both trying to vie for the other's attention. Regardless of how you feel about this relatively new tradition, the game has changed dramatically by simply adding digital cameras and the Internet.

Just a few short years ago, a young person could do something they might or might not later regret, but there was no photographic evidence of it. There were no pictures nor videos of embarrassing situations to end up in a place where the entire world could see it at any point. More to the point, parents, future employers, and future spouses or even future children, would never see it. This is no longer true.

The question is how do we modify the behavior? We (educators, parents and advocates) talk about it constantly. Most of the time, if the people in these situations would think, just for a second, about possible consequences, a crisis can be averted.

We hope that this wouldn't happen to our own kids, but someone's kids are posing for these pictures. I talk a lot on this blog about a variety of ideas, but I am curious about your ideas.

How would you (or have you) talked to your teens and young adults about how to avoid these very embarrassing situations? What would you tell your 18 year old self if you had the chance? I may feature your tips in a future post.


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