Family and Child Online Safety Blog - SafetyClicks

How do you convince today's self-possessed and confident teen, who has grown up with the Internet, that they don't know everything about technology? It is a monumental task, but one well worth taking on if you are concerned about how your teen is putting themselves out there in permanent cyber space.


Let's face it; most of us may never be in a position of knowing more about technology than those who grew up with the Internet and its devices intricately woven into their lives. However, as parents, we are in a position to impart life lessons such as good judgment, reason, empathy and most important, consequences. This position can be fleeting so the sooner you can start and the more consistently you communicate the most impact it can have.


When it comes to the Internet most teens, and for that matter most adults, may not fully comprehend the concept of permanence. Anything posted online will never truly be erased and can come back to haunt you down the road. Deleting an image or a comment is not an indication that someone hasn't already viewed or copied that image or comment. Being unable to erase a mistake can put the future of today's naive youth in jeopardy. That is particularly so when many colleges and prospective employers frequently research potential candidates on the Internet.


Find any opportunity to remind your teen that everything they post may have an unwanted consequence. Maybe not today, but at some point when it might matter to their future. It may be difficult for many teens to think in terms of their future when it comes to actions they want to take today. But even now, let them consider, is what they are about to post something they would be proud to have a grandparent see?


In 2007 The Ad Council in partnership with the U.S. Department of Justice and National Center for Missing & Exploited Children developed some very powerful public service announcements geared to helping teens understand the power of permanence on the Internet. View one of these still very relevant videos below with someone you think that can benefit from the message.

Cyberbullying, once considered a mere sub sect of the broader youth issue of "bullying," has now evolved into the primary method teens today choose to harass and torment each other. With the meteoric rise of social networks it has become easier and easier for teens to put out disparaging or hurtful comments to larger and larger audiences.


We learned from an early age that bullies can be abusive physically or emotionally, and that they often encourage peers to act the same way towards their intended victim. The social tools of the Internet that appeal most to teens (e.g., the ability to communicate to a lot of people at once, share pictures and videos easily, or pretend to be a different personality or identity) are the tools teens use to easily and effectively humiliate others. And the potential anonymity of it all can make it difficult for parents and teens to identify and report an online bully.


How has bullying evolved?

Before Internet(or "BI"): A bully was restricted by physical location and time. They had to be pretty much standing in front of their target to deliver their verbal or physical attack. This made identifying the attacker easy. And once the victim walked away, the bullying ended.


Now: A bully can be anyone, anywhere at anytime. The Internet never sleeps. And an insulting or abusive message, once put out there, can persist forever and be seen by countless people. Plus, the Internet can be so anonymous that it may never be possible to identify an attacker, making it very difficult to stop. Finally, the bullying can continue even when the victim is safe at home. The content of the abuse follows the victim wherever they go, and can leave the teen feeling helpless.


Tools & Methods of the Cyberbully

Cyberbullying can happen in many ways. These are just some examples:

• -Sending mean text, e-mail, or instant messages
• -Posting nasty pictures or messages about others in blogs or on Web sites
• -Using someone else's user name to spread rumors or lies about someone
• -Sending repeated notes
• -Forwarding supposedly private messages, pictures or videos to others

Teach your kids how to deal with a cyberbully

Tips to avoid being a cyberbullying victim:

• -Don't give out personal information like name, address, phone number, social security number, school or even the names of family and friends. Certainly don't give out your password.
• -Don't exchange pictures or give out contact information (including email) to people you meet online.
• -Don't send a message when you are angry or upset. Once you put something out on the Internet you can't take it back. EVER.
• -Realize that anything you say or do online is never really private. If even one person can see or read it then it can be copied, saved or shared -- even if you try to remove it later.

Detecting cyberbullying and if your child is a victim:

Watch for signs that your child is being bullied online. Are they reluctant to use the computer or go to school?

• -Depending on how your child is being bullied, report any incidents of harassment to your ISP or cell phone provider.
• -Block the harassing email or IM via parental controls or privacy tools provided by your ISP.
• -Do not reply to harassing messages.
• -If bullying includes physical threats, report it to the police.

The Fat Boy Chronicles tells the story of Jimmy Winterpock, the subject of brutal high school bullying who overcomes the torment by finding the strength to focus on his goal to lose weight and win over the girl of his dreams. The story is based on the novel by Diane Lang and Michael Buchanan. The film brings real world issues that affect teenagers to an audience looking for answers.

In addition to the inspirational story for the whole family, The Fat Boy Chronicles is also an ideal occasion to discuss with your teen the topic of bullying. The film progresses in such wonderful teaching moments that parents will easily find opportunities to have enlightening conversations with their teen without seeming as if to lecture.

The newly released DVD is filled with special features including audio commentary with the director and authors of the novels, cast interviews and bullying prevention information from the International Bullying Prevention Association.

For more information on this film and DVD purchases, go to thefatboychronicles.com

If you have a teen lurking in your home, you have inevitably been informed at one time or another that something you've just said or done was "sooo not cool." Since the beginning of time "cool" has always had a place in teen vernacular. More than a word, a state of being, that has never been considered outdated. It is without irony then that That's Not Cool, A public education initiative to prevent teen dating abuse, has taken off. This initiative includes a web site focusing on abuse prevention that delivers a clear and concise message to teens about exactly what is NOT COOL in a way that they can relate to.

That's Not Cool concentrates on preventing controlling or abusive behavior occurring within the digital universe (online, cell phone, etc.). The message and delivery could not be more relevant in today's environment of sexting, cyber bullying and general digital abuse. This site wisely encourages teens to draw their own lines about what is, or is not, acceptable relationship behavior rather than lecturing. There are fun, yet educational videos (see below), call out cards and games.

February 2011 marks the 2^nd Annual National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, so take time over the next few days and weeks and encourage your Teen to spend some time discovering what is not cool at That's Not Cool.

School is almost out and summer break is just around the corner. Do you know what your kids will be doing this summer? How will they be spending their spare free time for the next sixty or so days? Whatever you may or may not have lined up in terms of activities for your children, one thing is certain for most kids - free time offline means more time spent online.

This year add a new tradition to your usual end school year routine, along with graduation parties, summer camp registration and vacation preparations. Before this summer begins, talk to your children about staying safe online. A safety conversation is probably the last thing your kids want to have before they are set free for the lazy days summer, but it's important and it won't take long. Pick a day and put it on the calendar so you both stay committed. As a matter of fact, make it a complete safety briefing covering all their summer activities.

Just when you were starting to think that social networks were nothing more than an online time drain, along comes Greenwala. This benevolent social network not only focuses on helping their users connect about being green, Greenwala is also out there literally making the world green for us all. Read more about Greenwala's efforts here.

Social Networking Site Plants a Tree For Each Sign Up.

Older adults seem to like the social networking sites for the same reasons younger generations do - checking in with friends, making new ones and reconnecting with people they've lost touch with or only see once a year.

Learn more at Fort Mills Times.

Youngsters ..... are bypassing parents and teachers by using the code.

Read here to learn more. Press Association.

A NEW group called Action Against Cyber Bullying has been initiated by a concerned parent.

Read more about this here The Straits Times.