Would Your Child Tell You If He/She Was Being Bullied?

Posted Dec 11th 2009 2:12PM by Francis Duncan
Filed under: Internet Safety Tips, Cyberbullying

I think there are two main reasons why teens are secretive about what they do online. First, teens need a sense of privacy.

This is no truer now than it was when I was a teen. Second, there is a fear of losing access to the Internet if you "catch" something online that you think is "bad" (whether they did the "bad" thing or not).

We know that kids pick on kids, this is not new. It is not acceptable, but it isn't new. The difference between now and when I was a teen, is that the harassment continues in your living room via the computer, instead of only in person. I think this makes it harder on the person being picked on because they can be attacked in their home – where they should feel safe. If teens think that you (the parent) will solve the problem by taking away access to the computer, they might be less likely to tell you.

If you think your child might be getting cyberbullied, here are some tips on helping:

Tell them that you will not punish them for being bullied (including taking away access to the computer)
Listen to what your child is telling you without judgment and with your full support.
Give advice on how to handle it (everything from reporting the behavior to the online provider, to blocking further online communications from the bully, to reporting anything really serious to the police)
Get additional support from a school councilor or law enforcement if needed.

Above and beyond, we know you love your child. Teach them they can stand up for themselves and shouldn't be harassed online, or off.

What tips do you have for a parent of a teen being cyberbullied?

Comments (2)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Andy Lewin 2-11-2010 @ 7:00AM

I am a mother. My twins are 9 years old. I adore my boys and am eager to protect them from the surroundings. I'm afraid it's getting harder and harder. I am in despair. I'd never heard anything about cyberbullying before, till I found and downloaded a couple of articles on the issue on http://www.picktorrent.com search engine, as my friend advised, but it only aggravated the situation. Now my children appear to get jeopardised in such a way. I don't know what to do for my children to remain safe and sound((( I am completely frustrated.

Francis Duncan 2-16-2010 @ 4:50PM

It can be frustrating. Being a good parent online is not that different from being a good parent offline. Cyberbullying is the new version of kids picking on each other. Sometimes it is nothing more than name calling, but sometimes it is more. The best line of defense is always going to be you, as the parent. Teach them to have good self esteem and teach them tips on dealing with being picked on (online and offline). Since your boys are 9, you could also think about parental controls that are available for free through AOL and many other outlets.This will at least help keep them from getting to sites that are too mature for them.